So he came back. I always knew he would. What we had – you don’t let it go like that.
He came back and he asked what he could do to convince me he’s for real. I asked him why he wanted this, afterall, I haven’t heard God say anything He hasn’t being saying…and neither has he. He gave me reasons which sounded convincing, but you know once that seed of doubt has been planted it stretches deep and its hard to uproot. But I eventually decided to give it another go.
Then his doubts crept up again. This time I shut the door firmly and never looked back. Then I focused on getting over him. Letting go of relationships like this is always really hard. You can’t explain why, but you need to move on. I went on a retreat, me and God for 3 days in the mountains of Western Maryland. I found peace with my decision to let go and experienced healing in other relationships where I was hurting.
1 Sam 12:24 – David answered, “while the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, ‘who knows? The Lord may be glorious to me and let the child live. But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again?…” In comforting Bathsheba, God gave David another son, Solomon – Jedidiah, which means “Loved by the Lord”.
So for the second half of this year, I turned my focus to embracing the treasures of being single. Focusing my attention on God and becoming the virtuous woman He’s called me to be, in every sense of the word. On my family and my loved ones. On my school work and other projects…and on having a fun time in this city that I truly love!