I won’t be able to write a lot this week — at least not much stuff that I can post here Just realized how crazy it will be with Aunty Nike in town, work is picking up and I have the conference this weekend. But my friends need me, specifically Omo, Yewi and N.
On Sunday evening, I evaluated the goings-on in my life last week and over the weekend and came to a conclusion that was difficult to swallow. So for a bit I was disappointed and even for a minute felt rejected…again. But I quickly realized it was the lie of the enemy cos he wanted me to start down a destructive path. God reminded me what he promised me and to keep my eyes fixed on Him. I know my gaze had shifted a bit last week to focusing on him. So I read Is 35, and decided to PPQ with that chapter this week. Monday was V1 and it was beautiful rejoicing in God and anticipating the abundance that I am expecting from the areas of my life that feel so dry and deserted. I decided I wasn’t going to talk to him this week, which won’t be too hard since I have so much going on. And everytime I feel like talking to him, I will go to God instead — there used to be a time when I was generally fine without a man in my life. How did I end up here? Anyway, so far so good this week. I don’t miss him as much as I thought I would.
Back to my friends. It breaks my heart to see Omo hurting, cos I can’t do anything to help. I feel like at times like this, people’s words of encouragement tend to irritate more than help. She also doesn’t feel like talking to me. I do know I can support her in the place of prayer but praying through these days has become a huge struggle. I miss being intimate with the H.S. and I know its because I have sorta tried to replace it with intimacy with him…sorry, I digressed.
Yewi needs answers to why this all happened, and direction. Only God can provide that, but again I wish there was something I could say or do.
And N, I think needs companionship: a shoulder, words of support, someone to bounce ideas off. Our friendship is new and forming so I’m careful not to cross the line but I do wish I could spend more time with her so I get a clearer picture of how to support her in prayer. Work makes that really hard.
So basically I need to be praying a lot this week — for God to meet my friends at their point of need and give them a Word to keep them up through these trying times. But more importantly that I won’t be self-absorbed in my inconsequential issues.