This time last year I was mourning the loss, not of a loved one, but of a loving relationship. You know when you meet the most unexpected person, at the most unexpected time in the most unexpected way and something that you can’t quite explain in words grows, and blossoms…and then when you least expect it, it dies. Yep, that about sums it up. So I mourned, and analyzed and beat myself up about what I could have done differently but truth is, we live and we learn. I learned TONS through that relationship. About myself and what I really want, about love and commitment, about selflessness, PATIENCE and the right way to compromise.
Most importantly, I drew closer to God. Yeah we Christian women know how to run back to our first love when our earthly loves disappoint. But this was different because what I had for God were questions – I felt like I did this one right. I don’t think I’ve ever prayed as much about anything as much as I did on this relationship. But you know God just had to be sovereign and tell me “Trust me, Child. I know what I’m doing”. Eventually, I had to come to terms with the fact that the “why” would have to unfold over time. All I could do was trust him and obey, and Let it go.
I did, grudgingly….and then he came back.