Les Reves de la Rêveuse

…Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way…

Crossroads June 8, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — lareveuse @ 9:30 am

Do I even know what I want to be when I grow up? Oh snap, I’m grown…very grown, and getting older by the day. Yet I’m more confused than when I started off. I was pretty sure I wanted to step out of the finance box and focus on other interests. A Master’s program focused on International Policy made so much sense, cos it’s something I am sooo interested in. But does my motivation stem from being tired of the finance, MBA-type, world? Or is this something that I can actually build a career around?

Part of my sudden hesitation comes from Mr H who insists on having these 5-year, 10-year career plan conversations, when I am quite content with seeing how it goes (don’t tell him I said that). I wonder what happened to the control freak who always had it all figured out. Wait, I know what happened – the best laid plans fell through. So with eyes covered, I let go, hesitantly at first….and then as desperation grew, I cried out to God. Show me YOUR way, where do I go?

It’s tough cos I constantly have to remind myself why I don’t want to go back to IB or hard core finance, especially when I see people who stuck through it and have risen to great heights and gone on to do amazing things. Am I willing to sacrifice another 5 years of happiness and peace for what could be? The fear of the unknown is also at work here, majorly. What’s my new career path going to be?

I don’t know for sure, but I’m exploring options that are much more interesting to me. So I continue to trust in His leading.

Selah

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